Y ???

Things doesn't effect me anymore now!!!
wow !! so easy na ..i mean how easily i said this thing to one of my colleague in the office...but if that was true then why when i was saying all this somewhere i felt that i am not saying the real truth ..talked with her for sometime and now .....

I know sometimes little Ignorance can harm us lot and can give life time experience too :)
just don't know..why i am feeling as if this is true..why after a long time things again becoming difficult for me..i was the expert of handling problems..i was the expert of making fool not only others but to myself too that things doesn't effect me so much..then why somewhere i am doubting on my abilities..why while talking with her i was reminded by myself that dear!! you are ignoring something..you are tyring hard to be away from it..you are struggling with yourself..even this much that its becoming difficult for you identify the right behaviour for yourself..you are mixing everything and somewhere things are not in your control  :)


i know..there is something which i cant avoid..which i cant ignore...which are effecting me...may be bcos after a long time i am into a situation where everyday i am facing it !!!
i know i will be out of it soon but still...till the time i am in..till the time its killing me...

The most intrsng thing is that i don't know the reason's of it too....:(:(

why its bothering me so much?
why its effecting me so much?
why i am not able to win over it?
why i am somewhere feeling that the more i try the more i loose
why i am just not in control of myself?
why and whats in that?? i mean what ?why its becoming so important for me..?
why the hell i am not able to pull it out of my space??why why why.....

3rd Jan 2011 - Freedom and Prison

wow..i am excited not bcos its a New Year..but bcos i am heading to something new in my life...as the days are coming near..the feeling is becoming stronger and stronger..
its not about the freedom which i got neither its about the prison which i got on the same day and that too at the same time......i am trying to find out the missing delta inbtw the two...


the value of which is very small..the duration of which is very small....
and still somewhere i waanna remain there only....

Something Incomplete.....

Why sometimes it happens that most of the time something Unfinished,incomplete becomes so special for us.

PPL say they don't like incomplete things but i am in love with this

"INCOMPLETE"

those incomplete Dreams,Wishes,Thoughts,Relationships..etc.e.etc..everything....

I love them more then a dream which i was able to fulfill..

wishes which are now no more a wishes..

Thoughts which i was able to present in front of others...

Relationships those never gone to the stage of love,neither those remain till the stage of crush only..but yes that was inbtw something incomplete and still so SPECIAL...

So IMPORTANT........

life is full of such incomplete things,incomplete wishes..incomplete thoughts..

The most interesting thing about this is...

they always remain in our memory..

They sometimes irritate us also..

Their bitterness somewhere pinch us also...

Sometimes they even bring big smile on our face..

i can say many things about this incomplete but still i cant completely define it...

i cant make them complete through my words.

They will always remain UNFINISHED.../INCOMPLETE..Yet so SPECIAL...

YES !! U r my Favorite

Dedicated to all my favorites
*************************
Again after a long time I am back on my blog..This is my first weekend after returning to Delhi when I got some time for myself, my blog..
wel wel..this thought is irritating me from the time I landed in Delhi after one years gap.
IS U MY FAVORITE??
IS U SO IMPORTANT??
so cute..heheh and the answer is YES !! YES !! YES!!
I can say anything but I cant deny this thing..that’s the biggest truth
In life, I muss say few questions are really very interesting :
who is your favorite?
why he/she is ur favorite?
what is this funda of favoritism?
Why only few people take that special place in ur life?
but this favorite peoples list does not include r mom,dad,brother,sis,bf,gf,husband,wife.....

Favorite people are special in there own way...that’s what i feel

pls pls no answers like u like someone bcos he/she is very good looking, very intelligent, very smart..or etc etc..pls....

"People say when u like someone and if you know the reason behind it..that means its a CRUSH..but if u dont know the reason then its LOVE"
But i am not talking about this..
i am saying u like/hate someone..but u don’t know the reason behind it..and still he/she is ur favorite..He/she is important for u..
May be he/she is ur very good friend or a some person liked by u..it does not matter what kind of repo you share with them...this is also possible that u guys are big enemy’s but still he/she ur favorite..
They are not everything in your life but still they are important..
They make u feel their presence in ur life
They somewhere influence u on many things
Their presence make u feel good or bad too..or u can say their presence effects u

have u ever cried in ur life bcos of those people who are not so important for u...their presence is not necessary..but the only thing is that u know them
u smile when they are happy
u feel sad when they are sad..even u care for them
u cry when they somewhere hurt u
their in different behavior sometimes even irritates u...

i just don’t know what’s the reason behind this favoritism..why only few people cross that line of favorites..in my life I also got few favorites

My first Class teacher Santosh mam(She was so sweet that even i cant describe it in words)
My hindi teacher in 6th class Nivedita mam(only bcos of her hindi became my favorite subject)
My maths teacher in 6th class Mandol sir (who really tried lot to improve my bad mathematics but everything went into vain)
My English teacher bharti mam(Her praise was special for me)
My mechanical professor in 1st sem Shailesh sir (i was never able to understand his sarcastic comments),
My database sir in 4th sem Vishal sir(His seriousness made me study hard for database in which i scored my highest marks too),
My computer organizations professor Tarun sir (My god his only one question killed me somewhere..shweta what’s going wrong? why are u not scoring well dont know when he asked this question i really felt very bad..i just don’t know why?? in school/college it happens many times when some teacher ask such questions but still i never felt so bad)
My school captain
My school friend (with whom i used to fight lot) My college frnd(who was my cab mate too. but we were not so good frnds but still)
My 1st big boss and one of my colleague(who taught me big lesson in my life)

................i am sure in future too I am gonna get some more...:):)
These are people who at some point of time in r life who effected us..either in positive/negative way..from them we have learned big lessons of r life..we learned the way to see and perceive the things in some different way :):)

7th.....

wel afer a long time..i am again on my blog..why that i dont kno..u can say today i got some time to write again....:-)
what is good.... to forget something or to not?
forgive the thing or not?
what if we try hard to forget n forgive the thing..but stil..
7th i dont know whats wrong with this date....why i dont like it..or u can say somewhere i kno the reson too also..i think i am just not ready to accept it..why the hell that thing is bothering me too much..why?
evrything is fine then why i am giving so much importance to it...
7th dec 2009..i really cant forget it..n now its again 7th may 2010 i cant forget...
yesterday i just cried after a very long time...:(..(somewhere i want this to happen with me from 7th dec 09 but finaly yesterday things worked for me..)
sometimes life plays with u in such a manner that even if u try ur best u cant do anything
i just dont know what should i say..i was wrong that time ..or i am wrong right now..whatever be the thing but yes something is there for which i cant forgive myself..:(
i got struck somewhere...n that thing is killing me...i just wanna come out of it..trying my level best but still....:(

...from where you left me..

i started new journey from where you left me
renewal became my part of life
every mintue,every second
but till now,i am still trying to move from where you left me


its not about your departure
its not about my sadness
its not about your presence
its not about my feelings
its juss that i am still trying to move from where you left me


i don't know why i am struggling so much
i don't know why i am cribling so much
i know somewhere you are there
i know now you are not here
i know somewhere i am still trying to move from where you left me


my perception doesn't matter here
my aspiration doesn't bother here
although i altered everything,
but my concentration doesn't gather here
till now,i am still trying to move from where you left me



there must be a reason?
there must be a season
there must be a duration
there must be situtaion
where ??
all this will go away from my life
but whatever be the future now.
i just know.....i am still trying to move from where you left me

Silence of Life

silence of life..juss like u quietly accept everything whatever comes to you..YOU SMILE , YOU CRY..
it doesn't matter to you whats realy going on..its juss tht you r smiling bcos you smwhr ignoring some serious thng..n you r crying bcos smwhr u kno u can't avoid it.i don kno why we think so much???everytime i try to keep my cool..but still
i don kno things realy goes out of my hand..wenever i start thinking it is the thing..this is the way. like this i have to do it...this will happen ..that will happen..but suddenly everything get changed.In the end i alwaz get some different picture.i think may be bcos i analyze so much.or i don kno.wel whatever be the things..........

few things in life never changes..i can run from them but i can't ignore them.wenever i got this feeling i start analyzing it with more concentration..n again get into trouble...

the most intrstng thing is tht its not tht i am vry serious prsn..its bcos i am the most careless prsn..who hardly cares about the thngs..wel i kno whatever i am writing today will not make sense to anybody..newaz lets not continue this mor..odrwise i don kno what i start writing..

:):):) Finaly Crossed 50 mark

So finaly i crossed the mark of 50th post..:):):)

This is my 51st post on this blog...so i am quiet happy about this bcos i nvr thought i'll be able to do it...i nvr thought i can write so much.well whatever be the thng..i was able to write so many thngs..not only that i was able to analyize all the thngs in details..i also got feedback from different ppl i.e positive or negative both..mostly positive ones bcos all the reader were vry sweet to me so they only gave there positive feedbacks...
wel i realy enjoyed this..writing n xpressing thngs..meanwhile i learned many things also..even i read many ppl's vry good blogs :):)

lets c how long i can continue this thng.wel again i am saying this i'll try my level best...bcos somewhere i kno i am not a very gud writer(still in the learning process )

Confidence :(:( :):)

when somebody put his/her confidence on you..what exactly you feel?????
somewhere good because that person is keeping so much faith on you...but with me this is not the case..i realy get scared when this happens.:(:(

And the reason is also vry simple because when somebody puts his/her faith you have to ful fill those responsibilites what he/she thinks that you can do...
now days i am facing this problem ....my manger realy thinks that i can do this or that..i don kno why he is keeping so much faith on me..but somewhere i kno i realy can't afford this bcos if i am not able to deliver what he is expecting from me then i will realy feel bad...
and somewhere i don wanna do that..i don waana break that faith and at the same time i don wanna break my faith on myself too....but the biggest prblm is that i don have any confidence on myself...i am realy afraid what gonna happen...even i don kno...

who will win???my nervousness or his faith....i don kno..:O:O

PLZZZZZZ....leave me alone

Normally wen v r sad,smwhr depressed..v start avoiding everything & everyone...n if nebody ask ne thng v simply say PLZZZ....LEAVE ME ALONE...i don wanna talk..i don need ur help..plz
juss LEAVE ME ALONE..but did u ever said this wen u r in happy mood..i mean wen everything is correct in ur lyf...u hve everything which is related to ur happiness..

yes sometime it happens...but now the ques cums y so???
and the ans is also vry simple...smtym even u can't complain about ur present situation..bcos u got everything gud..u hve everything what others think,is necessary for happiness..but this happiness is nthg for u bcos u don hve that one thng which is most imp for u...

that one thng is everything for u...may b that is nthg for othrs but for u that is everything...
its really bcums tough to smile in such situation's..neither u can say that u r not happy nor u can say that u r sad..n that's the time wen u start seeking for loneliness..

really it bcum vry difficult to fight wid that loneliness
bcos neither it declares herself winner nor she defeats u completely
that time you juss toggle in between the two extremities

I LIKE U

Yes I LIKE U..oh oh plz this line is not for ne one here.but yes today m talking about this only.trust me its vry imp..n quiet funny too.ok tel me how many times u said this???
i mean how many times u simply used this line????
I LIKE U???? ting tong...:):):)


now u al say of course many times.whats so big about this??..actually frnds m confused wid the meaning of this line..i mean now u'll say itna bhi nhi pta mujhe i like u ka kya matlab hai...haan nhi pta nhi pta..
n u kno y????

bcos according to me it has many meanings..like

It simply tels that someone likes u(bas baat khatam aur kuch nhi)

n smtym it tels u that u r vry gud..n someone likes u..i mean not only as frnd..smwhr mor then that..u kno.(seedhi si baat ka ek aur matlab)

n even smtyms it bcums the replacement of three magical words i.e i luv u(bas i like u bol do aur kam khatam)

oh god so much of drama associated wid this single line.....
this ambiguous line really helps in mny matters..wid the help of this line u can say evrythng..u can please ur listener,u can show ur affection,u can use it for ur benefit n many mor...hehhe bcos LIKE word does not ask for the intensity of it...n that is really g8

i kno once again i cum up wid a silly thought but ab mein kya kar sakti hun... :):)

Interesting........

"v normally live wid r two images..one which others kno n second which v kno.wel i alwaz loved my second image mor but stil i try so hard to hide it"
Interesting!!!!!!!!!!

"generally i complain that i alwaz do my best for others but stil others don't understand..if realy thats true then frm where al misunderstandings cum"
Interesting!!!!!!!!!

"i don't argue lozz but stil i love to say evrythng..thn hw cum there is so much silence around me..i don kno??"
Interesting!!!!!!!!

"i admire failure n success both..but i don kno what i like mor??
Interesting!!!!!!!

"i don't know i love u mor or i hate u mor"..i don kno y i love this line so much
Interesting!!!!!!!!!

Whats In The NaMe????

Too late or never
scribbling or better
I call his name

may be juss
to have a semi perfect picture

In the world of the mad
or in the place where I am at
I call his name

may be juss
to be happy or simply sad

i don't have any hopes
but I Dream

I wish

I pray

I shout
& I call his name

may be juss bcos

once again i wanted to see him HERE

hey PLZ don get senti aftr reading above lines vo to bas aise hi smthng incomplete...today i m talking about name game..as ppl say whats in the name????

i don know whats in the name...but definitely something.bcos smwhr v love r names..n sply those names which r gvn by r frnds.u know if i talk about names which i got frm my frnds then definitely thats gonna b interesting thng...my frnds had gvn me some vry funny, sweet n weired names.. realy..wel the list goes like this::

NOORE--wow!!this was the 1st name i got frm my frnds.wel its not that much bad bcos its juss the reverse of my nick name in hindi...n my childhood frnds used to call me noore...:):)

CHANDI DEVI---i got goddess's name too..hehe.wel it was gvn by one of my school frnd wen i was in the seventh class..wel i got this name bcos of my vry vry low temper.. :D:D

NANU---don think i became nana or nani ji :P:P...again one of my school frnd,who heared my wrong nick name over phne:(:(. i think i got this name in 9th class..

SHWETU,SHWEET,SHWEETEE,SHWEE--all these funny versions of my name gvn by my four spl school frnds..ie frm my girl's gang in the school :):)

SMILEY--- i got this name frm my school captain

KHUSHI---wel this i got in DU.now u say wen???the vry first day of the collg..i don knw much about that guy who said hey miss khushi plz thoda kam smile..haan...wel he was my classmate but i left the DU vry early that even i was not able to make frnds there...

PALAK---its not spinach plz haan..wel this one is spl bcos it was gvn by my frnds's frnd. definitely now hez also my frnd

Anonymous

"Anonymous"....this interesting word is very famous on Internet. there is a kind of curiosity, suspense, mystery, drama associated with it..u knw it has all the elements of full 3 hrs movie.wel if i realy tel u then i realy hate anonymous ppl..realy :0.

i mean y don they come in front n say whatever they like.this ques alwaz irritate me..

is it gud to b anonymous or not????

i mean sometimes its gud..even u can put ur thots without disclosing ur identity..even u can say nethng whatever u like without taking tension about what othrs wil feel...

but its bad too yar..y ppl scared frm telling there real identity...???y not ppl say whatever they feel without caring about othrs...i don knw but i don understand this anonymous concept... :o

but i luv anonymous thoughts,quotes,comments.may b bcos they r vry true..vry real..i don knw how but anonymous ppl actually speak the truth..:o

like i realy liked this anonymous thought which i read somewhere:

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers.

Wider freeways, but more narrow viewpoints.

We spend more, but we have less.

We buy more, but enjoy less.

We have Degrees, but less common sense.

More knowledge, but less judgement.

More experts, but more problems.

More medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced lives values.

We talk too much, but listen less often.

We have learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We have added years to life, but not life to years.

We have been all the way to the moon and back, but we hardly know our neighbours.

We have conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We have split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short shadowy character.

Times of steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are times of delicate world peace, and domestic warfare.

Times of more leisure, but less fun.

More kinds of food, but more hungry people.

The days of two incomes, but more divorce.

Days of fancier houses, but more broken homes.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window, but very little in the storeroom.
And All Of This Was Created By Thought Perhaps

It Is Time To Change The Way We Think!

Long Absence

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I don't have a good excuse for such a long absence frm my blog...I could say I got sidetracked, or had too much work...but that wouldn't be true.I just switched off for a while,I guess:)

wel whatever the reason be but it gave me another ques..hehe
n the ques is on "LONG ABSENCE" ting tong
long absence of prsn,thngs,goals,relationships,successs etc etc...i mean what not??i don knw i like it or not???? i mean i cant clearly give my statment on it..bcos smwhr as ppl say
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Prolonged absence makes the heart forget"
whatever...i juss knw that v feel vry different when something is not there..realy.v juss start missing that thng.that thng becomes most imp for us.very intrstng is all this..TRUST ME..
feel the absence of nethng in ur lyf n u vil come to knw about evrythng..
as today when i came here i realy felt vry gud..as if i got smthng which i was wanted frm a long time..i don knw y this feeling came to me..oh oh let it be whatever may be the reason..but thats gud :):):) after all now days my blog is my very gud frnd so its gud....what u say???